After two years of trying naturally and countless investigations, I was told my FSH levels were too high (17.5) & my AMH too low (2.1). ICIS might not work and my eggs might not be viable. I also spotted before my period which I was convinced was a problem, despite doctors saying it wasn't. My accupunturist seemed to think it was which didn't help.
We also had a male factor, 11% progressive motility.
For four months I took coq10, dhea along with countless other supplements. I also had been having weekly Accupunture for a year which I am still having now. .
Our first cycle didn't result in conception, but I did respond to a very high dose of drugs & managed to produce 6 eggs. 4 of which fertilised and 2 of which were good enough to freeze.
Six months later (the soonest I could face) we put one back in (the second didn't defrost well) which resulted in a BFP!!! (Three years after we began trying)
Things that I think helped:
- poi shots instead of pessaries. Painful but worth it.
- a month before the cycle, I had a "current life regression" hypnotherapy to help me address all of the heaviness and pain of infertility.
- a week before the cycle, I went on a yoga retreat and having the space to address all of my fears and just to accept them.
- during the cycle I listened to Molly Nichols a fertility coach,and she really really helped. She helped me to realise how isolated and alone I was feeling, how painful and how I had been conditioned to expect more disappointment. How I couldn't believe that this would ever happen for me. And mainly how I utterly distrusted my body, blamed it, judged it, second guessed it's every action (I'm sure I shouldn't spot before my period etc).
I'm slowly facing these issues and shining the light of day on them, I was able to turn around how I was feeling with Mollys help.
This resulted in having the calmest two week wait ( well calm is probably a bit too far but I wasn't full of fear) and feeling in the best place I had ever felt about my fertility. I started to paint a new picture, an idea that I could have a baby and what my life would look like. How I could trust my body. How fertilise I was.
- I ate pineapple everyday
- I only had lukewarm showers, no baths
- I didn't move around much for the first 48hrs after transfer.
-I did have a huge argument with my husband. I felt so convinced that it had runined everything until I spoke to my dad who told me "if having an argument effected conception, there wouldn't be many people around".
Symptoms;
- felt a flutter a few hours after transfer
- felt the same flutter a few days later
- had this knowing, indescribable feeling that it had worked, this didn't happen until about 3 days before I was due to take the test.
- I had no spotting but I did have some at 9 weeks pregnant.
My husband was already consoling me as he was convinced it hadn't worked and when the test went positive he still was doubtful! He hadn't listened to Molly!
Today I'm six months pregnant and I'm feeling so unbelievably blessed.
"Take a leap of faith" was my favourite phrase when I was feeling low.
